This rite here is Funny

kycooner

8 pointer
May 2, 2007
727
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.
The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.
The devil smiles and replies, " Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."
 

buckfever

12 pointer
Oct 25, 2002
13,203
Harrods Creek Ky, USA.
New Federal Golf Rules

President has recently appointed a Golf Czar.
Major rule changes in the game of golf will become effective January 1, 2013.
This is only a preview as the complete rule book (expect 2716 pages) is being rewritten as we speak.

Here are a few of the changes:
Golfers with handicaps:
- Below 10 will have their green fees increased by 35%.
- Between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees.
- Above 18 will get a $20 check each time they play.
The term "gimmie" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be used as follows:
- Handicaps below 10, no entitlements.
- Handicaps from 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts.
- Handicaps above 18, if your ball is on the green, no need to putt, just pick it up.

These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness and, most importantly, equality in scoring.

In addition, a Player will be limited to a maximum of one birdie or six pars in any given 18-hole round.

Any excess must be given to those fellow players who have not yet scored a birdie or par.

Only after all players have received a birdie or par from the player actually making the birdie or par, can that player begin to count his pars and birdies again .

The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes, but the term "net score" will be available only for scoring those players with handicaps of 18 and above.

This is intended to "re-distribute" the success of winning by making sure that in all competitions every Player above an 18 handicap will post only "net score" against every other player's "gross score".

These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf.

Golf must be about Fairness. It should have nothing to do with ability, hard work, practice, and responsibility.

This is the "Right thing to do."

So, please remember; if you shot a round of golf under par, you didn't shoot it yourself. Someone else built that course, and someone else cut the grass so that you could play on it. Someone else built the clubs and the cart.



ObamaGolf_zps2941260c.jpg
 

EC

12 pointer
Jul 13, 2003
11,656
Louisville, KY.
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell. While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for.
The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.
The devil smiles and replies, " Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it's a local call."

LOLOLOL!! It hurts to laugh, however.
 

TripleGee

12 pointer
Sep 13, 2003
5,789
Somerset
I may have seen this one on here but it's fairly accurate.

A Muslim, an atheist and an illegal alien walk into a bar. The bartender says: "Hello Mr. President."
 


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