B.M. Barrelcooker
12 pointer
Well we have been out surveyin and lookin for dead indian trinkets and such for a while now and Ol Ray has kinda formulated a plan. We are hopin to get some dirt pushed around by october so we can have some water for the fall ducks in what is going to be the Aintry W.R.P. project.
We hate to take valuble farmland out of production especially since all them little fellers over in tiwan an places is justa starvin real bad for corn because of the ethanol plants but we really had to do somethin. You see it all started with a simple conversation over a suasage bisquit in the duckblind with Mmayes:
We was huntin at the slip one day and had shot a few spoonies but things was relativley slow. Me an Earl had already boiled up the last pack of boudain and it weren't even eight o-clock yet. So against our better judgement we decided to place a call in order to Mmayes.( Now ya have to know that even though on this internet Mmayes seems like a real tough Man among men kinda guy , he really has a fatal weakness. Thats right he really does. He loves....I mean he craves to shoot ducks. He is a killer of the webfooted birds like no other. he will crawl across glass to kill a hen woodie with a stick...........I mean to tell you he hates them . He hates 'em bad. Knowing his unsettled desire to kill fowl has given us a power over him that is on the borderline of unethical. You see for the mear chance...an opportunity to smash a greenhead with some number 2's at close range the oft rabid Mmayes will do just about anything...............and we take full advantage of his weakness.) One quick cell phone call into town and Mmayes is out of his office and into his truck headin to Huck's for a bag of sausage bisquits and a six-pack of diet pepsi to make a personal delivery. All we had to promise was a seat at the end of the blind for an hour. It was an easy deal other than the fact that we had to listen to his bloodlust desires while we ate our grub.
So as we sat enjoying our food under empty skies Mmayes launches into a tirade about them big-whigs down river at the Gobin Slash. He rails them nonstop about how they got all the ducks hemmed up in "feed fields" and they are too upity to shoot hens and how they wouldn't know how to really shilack them if they had a chance and how Aintry used to be a "helluva" spot before them big city dudes established their own private refuge. He kept mumbling about how you could walk across the mallard backs. It wasn't long before he was visbly shaken and we thought he was goin into somekinda epelectic shock or somethin.
Earl grabbed him with both hands around the neck and I hit him upside the head with my avery shell pouch-handwarmer and his eyes kinda glazed over and he handed me a wrinkled peice of paper with a phone number. He could barely whisper the words,"call Ray,W.R.P." We didn't know what the hell he meant and almost imediatley he had a nice little bunch of mallards slide in on us right over the blind and we knocked down 4 greenheads 1 hen and a black Me and Earl looked at each other like old hunting partners often do and even though we took this little bunch as a sign we didn't mention a word of it....not with him around. After the dog brought back our ducks we settled in as if nothing was out of sync and shortly thereafter mmayes hour was up and he reluctantly removed himself from the blind. Not another word was mentioned about Mmaye's "incident" for the rest of the season but shortly after closing day I pulled that crumpled paper from my wallet and gave Ray a call.
Now we are headlong into a pretty significant wetlands project . We have become good friends with Ray . And while we may kindly want to compete with them big city fellers at the slash we know that they share the common goal of wanting to enrich the local waterfowl habitat and encourage the ducks to hang around theese parts and be available for all of us so we wish them good luck as well.
As for Mmayes ....huh! We never hear from him when season is out but my garbage man said he heard that Mmayes got busted again at the local park the other day trying to catch the tamies with a dip net and popcorn while on his lunch break. He'll definatley be saner when it starts to cool off and season comes in.
We hate to take valuble farmland out of production especially since all them little fellers over in tiwan an places is justa starvin real bad for corn because of the ethanol plants but we really had to do somethin. You see it all started with a simple conversation over a suasage bisquit in the duckblind with Mmayes:
We was huntin at the slip one day and had shot a few spoonies but things was relativley slow. Me an Earl had already boiled up the last pack of boudain and it weren't even eight o-clock yet. So against our better judgement we decided to place a call in order to Mmayes.( Now ya have to know that even though on this internet Mmayes seems like a real tough Man among men kinda guy , he really has a fatal weakness. Thats right he really does. He loves....I mean he craves to shoot ducks. He is a killer of the webfooted birds like no other. he will crawl across glass to kill a hen woodie with a stick...........I mean to tell you he hates them . He hates 'em bad. Knowing his unsettled desire to kill fowl has given us a power over him that is on the borderline of unethical. You see for the mear chance...an opportunity to smash a greenhead with some number 2's at close range the oft rabid Mmayes will do just about anything...............and we take full advantage of his weakness.) One quick cell phone call into town and Mmayes is out of his office and into his truck headin to Huck's for a bag of sausage bisquits and a six-pack of diet pepsi to make a personal delivery. All we had to promise was a seat at the end of the blind for an hour. It was an easy deal other than the fact that we had to listen to his bloodlust desires while we ate our grub.
So as we sat enjoying our food under empty skies Mmayes launches into a tirade about them big-whigs down river at the Gobin Slash. He rails them nonstop about how they got all the ducks hemmed up in "feed fields" and they are too upity to shoot hens and how they wouldn't know how to really shilack them if they had a chance and how Aintry used to be a "helluva" spot before them big city dudes established their own private refuge. He kept mumbling about how you could walk across the mallard backs. It wasn't long before he was visbly shaken and we thought he was goin into somekinda epelectic shock or somethin.
Earl grabbed him with both hands around the neck and I hit him upside the head with my avery shell pouch-handwarmer and his eyes kinda glazed over and he handed me a wrinkled peice of paper with a phone number. He could barely whisper the words,"call Ray,W.R.P." We didn't know what the hell he meant and almost imediatley he had a nice little bunch of mallards slide in on us right over the blind and we knocked down 4 greenheads 1 hen and a black Me and Earl looked at each other like old hunting partners often do and even though we took this little bunch as a sign we didn't mention a word of it....not with him around. After the dog brought back our ducks we settled in as if nothing was out of sync and shortly thereafter mmayes hour was up and he reluctantly removed himself from the blind. Not another word was mentioned about Mmaye's "incident" for the rest of the season but shortly after closing day I pulled that crumpled paper from my wallet and gave Ray a call.
Now we are headlong into a pretty significant wetlands project . We have become good friends with Ray . And while we may kindly want to compete with them big city fellers at the slash we know that they share the common goal of wanting to enrich the local waterfowl habitat and encourage the ducks to hang around theese parts and be available for all of us so we wish them good luck as well.
As for Mmayes ....huh! We never hear from him when season is out but my garbage man said he heard that Mmayes got busted again at the local park the other day trying to catch the tamies with a dip net and popcorn while on his lunch break. He'll definatley be saner when it starts to cool off and season comes in.
