Mike Pence Vows To Cut Conservation Funding

Discussion in 'Community Forum' started by nwest, Jan 13, 2017.

  1. nwest

    nwest 12 pointer

    Mike Pence Vows To Cut Conservation Funding After Discovering Elk Don’t Mate For Life

    WASHINGTON—Promising swift action as soon as he takes office, Vice President–elect Mike Pence pledged Thursday to strip federal funding for conservation efforts shortly after learning that elk do not mate for life, sources confirmed. “One of this administration’s top priorities will be eliminating wasteful spending on environmental programs whose goals include the reckless and misguided federal protection of elk, a species of deer that chooses not to engage in a lifelong monogamous bond and instead mates with countless partners throughout its lifetime,” said Pence, who expressed his disgust that hundreds of millions of dollars had been earmarked by the previous administration to provide federal protection to the nation’s wildlands where these animals could enjoy “wanton and promiscuous behavior” in which they copulate freely among their herds. “The United States government cannot continue to provide support to a species whose males, year after year, choose to breed with multiple female partners. If this is the lifestyle these deviant animals seek to pursue, then they should do so without the help of any taxpayer dollars.” Pence admitted, however, that he might not slash funding completely, noting that he approved of the fact that elk typically copulate only a few weeks out of the year and then go about a life of complete chastity in between.


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  2. smashdn

    smashdn 12 pointer

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    Disguising the source of this news is disingenuous at best, amateurish trolling at best.

    I'm sure you'll catch a few though.
     
  3. EdLongshanks

    EdLongshanks 12 pointer

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    Well Somebody has to cut spending! If the man-whore elk can't keep it in their pants, why do I as a tax payer have to fund their irresponsibility?
     
    nwest likes this.
  4. nwest

    nwest 12 pointer

    You should laugh a little more my friend. noone gets outta here alive
     
    drakeshooter likes this.
  5. smashdn

    smashdn 12 pointer

    9,125
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    Palmyra, Kentucky
    Good jokes are worth laughing at. Bad ones are just bad.
     
    1wildcatfan likes this.
  6. Wildcat

    Wildcat 12 pointer

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    Agree!!
     
  7. nwest

    nwest 12 pointer

    ok let me change it to biden and you guys would be rolling. I read it, snickered because it hits at least one to two nails on the head and decided to share. If i hurt you in anyway I'm sorry... all better now?
     
    drakeshooter likes this.
  8. I "got it" nwest. Commonsense tells you it is satire, but the point is spot on. Laugh a little more.
     
  9. ptbrauch

    ptbrauch 12 pointer

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    Hmm. I thought he'd be ok with the way the christian elk express their love for each other. I figured he'd want to do more to protect them from the atheist wolves.
     
  10. KYote-Krusher

    KYote-Krusher 10 pointer

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    I called up Mitch (spit) to find out if he was backing this proposal and he told me to .... "Go Elk Myself"!! :eek:
     
    Last edited: Jan 13, 2017
    drakeshooter likes this.
  11. smashdn

    smashdn 12 pointer

    9,125
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    Palmyra, Kentucky
    No. I am deeply hurt and will not get back the time I spent reading your post.

    Biden. He deserves our respect. He was likely the only thing keeping us from him being president.
     
    nwest and drakeshooter like this.
  12. EdLongshanks

    EdLongshanks 12 pointer

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    Ol Mitch (spit) has been elking the American people for decades.
     
    KYote-Krusher likes this.
  13. wademup

    wademup 12 pointer

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    benton, ky, USA.
    Pence has the complete support of the Canadian Goose population, but who cares what a Canadian thinks ? Slash it !!!!
     
    drakeshooter likes this.
  14. Duster

    Duster 12 pointer

    Sad thing is even tho this is a joke there are probably some in politics that would believe it.
     
  15. Regulator623

    Regulator623 12 pointer

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    Eastern Kentucky
    I reckon Elizabeth Warren and Barney Sanders are co-sponsoring legislation that protects gay elk from hunting....heard it on CNN.
     

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