I may get banned for this so I will try and clean it up some.
There was this young boy and his girlfriend that went out on a picnic together.
The girl said she had to go pee. She went over next to this big tree and dropped her undies.
About the time she was done a bee flew up her happy spot.
The boy and girl did not know what to do so they went to the doctor.
The doctor looked at her and said I will feel around and see if I can find the bee.
He put one finger in and pulled it out and no bee.
He stuck two fingers in and pulled them out and still no bee.
The doctor said there is one thing we can try and that was put some honey on his happy tool and insert it and the bee will stick to the honey and pull out
He slaps some honey on the head and inserts it a third of the way and pulls it out with no bee attached.
He slaps some more honey on it and goes in half way, pulls out, no bee again.
He puts some more honey on it and shoves it all the way in wiggles around a little and pulls it back out and still no bee.
Then the doctor shoves it in and starts in and out real fast and the girl moans a little.
The boyfriend said hey doctor what are you doing.
The doctor said I can't find the bee so I am going to drown the little bast""rd
Just after a man gets in bed he cracks a big one and says 7 points. Wife who had been saving one responds and says 7 points tie score. Man finally works one up and says 14 to 7. Wife responds 14 to 14. Man tries but has no response. Wife finally lets out a little squeak. Man says what was that and wife says field goal 17 to 14. Man who has never lost to his wife groans and groans and finally shits in the bed. Wife says what in the world was that and man says halftime, change sides.
WARNING: If you click the link below you will hear rough and vulgar language. I ran across this old classic Sam Kinison clip on IG and thought I’d share it in the joke thread. You have to make the choice here to click this cause be warned it’s chalked full of R-rated language but it’s hilarious.