Joke thread
- Thread starter Carl
- Start date
Two old geezers on their last go around are drinking at a bar. One says to the other how long has it been since you went to the brothel. Been so long I can't remember but we should go one last time. The two old drunks go to the brothel where the madam takes one look and tells one of the girls to take up two blow up dolls to the first two rooms. The old drunks go up and come back down in about an hour. They get back in the car and one asks the other how it was. I think my girl was dead. She didn't move and never said a word. Could have been worse he said. Mine was a witch. A witch? Yeah I was kissing her on the neck and bit her on the neck and she farted and flew out the window and took my teeth with her.
A bank robber walks out of the bank to find a crowd of people watching. He walks up to the first guy and asked did you see me rob that bank? Yes I did. So the robber shoots him right between the eyes and goes to the next man. Did you see me rob that bank? After a minute the guy says well I can't lie I saw you. Bamb right between the eyes and he goes to the third guy and asks did you see me rob that bank? After a few seconds the guy says No but my wife did.
Luther's Feist
10 pointer
Was out with a girl the other night and she just kept begging me to give it to her. Over and over she kept saying I'm so wet please just give it to me. I'm soaking wet let me have it give it to me. Bet I heard it a thousand times. I know I should have gave it to her but it was raining really hard and she wasn't getting my umbrella
EdLongshanks
12 pointer
HHahaha. Nice.
Carl
12 pointer
DH13
12 pointer
Old man and his wife 50th wedding aniversry. They went to the same resturaunt they went to on their wedding night. Ate a good meal. Sitting there the man said,you remember what we did 50 years ago after we ate? She said yes we went out back and made love. He giggled up up for it? She said I am if you are. They went out back. There was a cop there and heard them talk. He went out back and hid. The couple got out back. Old man spun her around bent her over the fence and went at it. Screaming and yelling. Sweat and snot a flying. Going at it like two Rabbits. After about 10 minutes both fell off the fence. Laying on the ground panting like 2 Greyhounds that just ran a race. The cop was amazed. He came out of hiding. Aproached the couple. He said you know I heard yall talking in the resturaunt so I came out. Im not going to arrest you,but have to ask. How does an older couple like yall still have the drive and passion to go at it like you did? The old man looked up and said, WELL SONNY THAT FENCE WASNT ELECTRIC 50 YEARS AGO.
wv67
12 pointer
LOL. Good one
00noturkey
12 pointer
got this from amazon, doing reviews;
a chainsaw operator, goes to a barbershop to get a haircut, the barber says to him," let me guess, you want a buzz".
gave me a smile, may not be the best joke.
a chainsaw operator, goes to a barbershop to get a haircut, the barber says to him," let me guess, you want a buzz".
gave me a smile, may not be the best joke.
riverboss
12 pointer
Joe Biden!
120+
12 pointer
Why can't a communist family take a group photo?
barney
12 pointer
- Oct 11, 2005
- 18,621
IDK, why?
120+
12 pointer
Because when the photographer says "cheese" they line up in a row.
barney
12 pointer
- Oct 11, 2005
- 18,621
I give it 3.
