Joke thread

Dark Cloud

12 pointer
Aug 14, 2009
5,691
Lawrence Co.
Seen this thought some might get a laugh
 

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zone1

8 pointer
Jan 3, 2011
657
Two old geezers on their last go around are drinking at a bar. One says to the other how long has it been since you went to the brothel. Been so long I can't remember but we should go one last time. The two old drunks go to the brothel where the madam takes one look and tells one of the girls to take up two blow up dolls to the first two rooms. The old drunks go up and come back down in about an hour. They get back in the car and one asks the other how it was. I think my girl was dead. She didn't move and never said a word. Could have been worse he said. Mine was a witch. A witch? Yeah I was kissing her on the neck and bit her on the neck and she farted and flew out the window and took my teeth with her.
 

zone1

8 pointer
Jan 3, 2011
657
A bank robber walks out of the bank to find a crowd of people watching. He walks up to the first guy and asked did you see me rob that bank? Yes I did. So the robber shoots him right between the eyes and goes to the next man. Did you see me rob that bank? After a minute the guy says well I can't lie I saw you. Bamb right between the eyes and he goes to the third guy and asks did you see me rob that bank? After a few seconds the guy says No but my wife did.
 

Luther's Feist

10 pointer
Oct 25, 2014
1,751
Coeburn, Va
Was out with a girl the other night and she just kept begging me to give it to her. Over and over she kept saying I'm so wet please just give it to me. I'm soaking wet let me have it give it to me. Bet I heard it a thousand times. I know I should have gave it to her but it was raining really hard and she wasn't getting my umbrella
 

EdLongshanks

12 pointer
Nov 16, 2013
19,833
Northern Kentucky
A bank robber walks out of the bank to find a crowd of people watching. He walks up to the first guy and asked did you see me rob that bank? Yes I did. So the robber shoots him right between the eyes and goes to the next man. Did you see me rob that bank? After a minute the guy says well I can't lie I saw you. Bamb right between the eyes and he goes to the third guy and asks did you see me rob that bank? After a few seconds the guy says No but my wife did.
HHahaha. Nice.
 

DH13

12 pointer
Jan 13, 2012
9,038
Shelby county
Old man and his wife 50th wedding aniversry. They went to the same resturaunt they went to on their wedding night. Ate a good meal. Sitting there the man said,you remember what we did 50 years ago after we ate? She said yes we went out back and made love. He giggled up up for it? She said I am if you are. They went out back. There was a cop there and heard them talk. He went out back and hid. The couple got out back. Old man spun her around bent her over the fence and went at it. Screaming and yelling. Sweat and snot a flying. Going at it like two Rabbits. After about 10 minutes both fell off the fence. Laying on the ground panting like 2 Greyhounds that just ran a race. The cop was amazed. He came out of hiding. Aproached the couple. He said you know I heard yall talking in the resturaunt so I came out. Im not going to arrest you,but have to ask. How does an older couple like yall still have the drive and passion to go at it like you did? The old man looked up and said, WELL SONNY THAT FENCE WASNT ELECTRIC 50 YEARS AGO.
 

wv67

12 pointer
Dec 19, 2017
4,368
Southern wva
Old man and his wife 50th wedding aniversry. They went to the same resturaunt they went to on their wedding night. Ate a good meal. Sitting there the man said,you remember what we did 50 years ago after we ate? She said yes we went out back and made love. He giggled up up for it? She said I am if you are. They went out back. There was a cop there and heard them talk. He went out back and hid. The couple got out back. Old man spun her around bent her over the fence and went at it. Screaming and yelling. Sweat and snot a flying. Going at it like two Rabbits. After about 10 minutes both fell off the fence. Laying on the ground panting like 2 Greyhounds that just ran a race. The cop was amazed. He came out of hiding. Aproached the couple. He said you know I heard yall talking in the resturaunt so I came out. Im not going to arrest you,but have to ask. How does an older couple like yall still have the drive and passion to go at it like you did? The old man looked up and said, WELL SONNY THAT FENCE WASNT ELECTRIC 50 YEARS AGO.
LOL. Good one
 


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