In need of some good thoughts and support

Discussion in 'Community Forum' started by rock802, Oct 9, 2011.

  1. KRB_FTW

    KRB_FTW 6 pointer

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    Berea
    There's some really good advice in this thread. Be strong bud.
     
  2. Alpha Dodge

    Alpha Dodge 6 pointer

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    Aug 8, 2011
    Hustonville, Ky
    Went through the same thing 4 years ago. It does get better. Friends and family help beyond belief. Prayers are sent!! God will not put on you more than you can bare.
     
  3. deadaim

    deadaim 12 pointer

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    Booger Hollar
    The ink is still wet on my Divorce Papers.....15 year marrige...If you just need someone to talk to don't be afraid to PM and Ill help any way I can. Good advice has already been given......the best is either try to fix it if thats what you want or get it over with quick and as painless as you can. If you are going to Divorce CLOSE YOUR JOINT ACCOUNT AND CREDIT CARDS OR ANY OTHER JOINT ACCOUNTS ASAP!!!!! and get a GOOD lawyer working on your behalf NOW. I was able to keep my home and most of my belongings and came out debt free financially but I had a lawyer the next day after I put her out of the house. You will make decisions based on emotions and that will kill you in a divorce. The lawyer will keep you focused on what to do to keep from getting took advantage of and you need his focus because its hard to have any with so many emotions going on..............and I am happy as a hog in slop since I got set free brother.......make your child your number one priority and like BF said work on yourself....hit the gym or whatever to make you feel better about yourself.....it works....
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2011
  4. bowcrazy3

    bowcrazy3 10 pointer

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    Aug 21, 2009
    If you need a little "get-away" for the weekend we have a Men's Conference this Friday evening and Saturday morning in Somerset. Looks like we are about an hour and a half away. We will be dealing with the difficult issues that men face today and also have several break out sessions geared to working with youth.

    Anyway, would love to have you. You can PM me if interested.

    The website for the conference is http://www.oakhillbaptist.com/ministries/adults/men/mens-conference
     
  5. rock802

    rock802 10 pointer

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    Dec 13, 2005
    primrose ky.
    I want to thank you all, and bowcrazy3 I would come over, but I have a cub scout training to go to on Saturday.
    Deadaim I will keep your offer in mind. We have been married for 9 yrs. the 26th of this month. Our son has no idea that there is anything wrong, and I will keep it from him as long as I can. about a 1 1/2 ago she came home and said she was tired of making everyone happy and was only going to please her self, from that point on I could tell changes in her. today she said she has been trying hard for the last 2 yrs, I asked what about me has changed in the last 2 yrs from when we got married, her reply was everything. for about the last 8 months I have tried to get her to go to marriage counciling and she flat out says NO I admit I am not perfect, and in the past have had problems with the bottle but I quit that quite a while back. But once again thanks guys.
     
  6. philipfleek

    philipfleek 12 pointer

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    philville, KY

    Don't sound very good to me buddy. been there done that!
     
  7. deadaim

    deadaim 12 pointer

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    Dec 12, 2001
    Booger Hollar

    Big warning sign right there. I have been thru this twice in my life my first marriage was 8 years. Both women were hitting that menopause stage of there life and just lost there minds.......here are some signs of cheating and if you are seeing them you better take heed and get that lawyer lined up : She accuses you of cheating or gets jealous, She starts dolling herself up even just to go to the store ect wears new style of clothing and starts working out and looses weight., Asks for more " space" or time away, She starts dropping hints she is not happy ( asks for more romance says she not sure of future), has a new BFF you have never met ( this could even be a girl who takes her out to dip her toe in the single world ), goes out till late or all night, One of your friends her friends or family will tell you she is cheating or they think she is, She keeps up with your plans and what you are doing for the day much more than usual and encourages you to go out with friends , hunt ect. , She gives excuses not to have sex or be intimate allot more than normal ( or wants more sex ), And the biggest one she just checks out.....stops cooking, stops taking care of the kids ect. just looses interest in everything about her life with you......you get the idea and there are allot more signs. Both of my exes after going thru menopause and calming down and figuring that the grass wasn't greener wanted to get back with me but I just cant even stand to look at them after cheating I just moved on. Rock one other thing if you want her back or want to keep her and she has turned her heart to you do not beg her or badger her or keep asking why it will just make her push away more and loose respect for you. Better to just act like you are moving on yourself it drives them crazy sometimes and brings them back your way...........but the truth is if your wife is like most women and her heart is turned she is just there with you until she can find some place to go and nothing you say or do will change it........just pray allot for your family and for your wife and get others to pray for you too. I feel your pain man I really do its one of the hardest things in life to go thru. Lots of guys on here have dealt with it to and are good to talk too im sure they will PM at some point like they did me and it really helps to get some encouragement from guys who have been there.......if cheating is the culprit and I dont know if it is......its a tough blow to your pride and takes some getting over......stay away from the bottle if that has been a problem in the past....like I said before look inward do things to better your children and yourself........
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2011
  8. grouser68

    grouser68 Banned

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    Very good and informative post Deadaim. Sorry that happened to you. Rock, keep your chin up, rooting for you and your fsmily!
     
  9. racsr

    racsr 10 pointer

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    May 7, 2009
    morgan county ky
  10. deadaim

    deadaim 12 pointer

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    Booger Hollar
    Well thanks Dale. On the positive side the new girlfriend has about ten years to go until menopause :) Ill just have to keep trading down in age as I get older......
     
  11. bowcrazy3

    bowcrazy3 10 pointer

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    Aug 21, 2009
    The offer to visit with us is a standing one with no time limits.

    It's good you're staying with scouts. Scouting is still a very good organization that instills good things in young men. BSA is one of the few groups that has maintained it's principles and had them affirmed by the Supreme Court. Our family participated in scouting for a lot of years. My oldest son is an Eagle Scout and middle son was active into his late teens. My youngest son is football crazy, so had to decide between that and scouts and chose the former.

    Keep your son in scouts as long as he is interested. If he shoots for Eagle, which every scout should, you need to try to get him to that point before age 16 and cars and girls kicks into high gear.

    Good luck. Praying for you.
     
  12. hunting buddy

    hunting buddy 12 pointer

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    Oct 23, 2010
    bg
  13. rock802

    rock802 10 pointer

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    Dec 13, 2005
    primrose ky.
    Well folks, this eve. we decided to part company as friends... If no other reason but our sons!!!!!!!! She is asking for nothing and wants nothing, other than a little time to find someplace to live.
     
  14. johnky

    johnky 8 pointer

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    Apr 5, 2011
    Loretto ky
    Hospital

    I been on the forum sence April of this year. And have really enjoyed talking to everyone looking at pic.And a few had send me some pm and try to hunt together. My mom is in the hospital with copd , couldn't breath very good without oxygen. She has been sick all of her life and came through fine. But this time it's really getting her down. She has been in the hospital 7-8 times sence may.I'm just asking to keep her lifted up and pray for her.Thanks so very much.
     
  15. johnky

    johnky 8 pointer

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    Apr 5, 2011
    Loretto ky
    Sorry I post this in the wrong place.and I'm sorry to hear about you and your wife.
     

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