how to be a Modern Man

Discussion in 'Community Forum' started by corndogggy, Oct 19, 2015.

  1. EC

    EC 12 pointer

    Jul 13, 2003
    Louisville, KY.
    Trendy, hipster p#ssy. When the lights go out, he's the first one on the menu.
  2. nwest

    nwest 12 pointer

    Yep yep......
  3. riverboss

    riverboss 12 pointer

    Jan 26, 2009
    northern ky
    From caveman to gayman! I knew when I started hearing grown men were shaving there entire bodys it wouldn't be good.
    Now the liberal fruits cakes are everywhere.

    Sent from my BLU STUDIO 5.0 C HD using Tapatalk
  4. OldEarnhardtFan

    OldEarnhardtFan 10 pointer

    Jan 16, 2014
    Northeast of Berea
    Even my eyes hurt from reading that...
  5. Manzanita

    Manzanita 12 pointer

    Apr 16, 2006
    Telecheck 018
    I've read several commentaries on that article since it appeared.

    Cleanse your eyes with this one. It's the best.
  6. corndogggy

    corndogggy 12 pointer

    Jul 20, 2005
    Yeah that's awesome. Mike Row had a nice rant too. My take on some of them:

    2. "Fake it till you make it" isn't exactly always a great way to live your life by in all circumstances.

    3. Movie theaters? Two words: home theater. Munch however loud you want.

    4. First of all, if you tell yourself that you enjoy the taste of burnt flesh because otherwise your manhood would be in question, you have mental issues. Secondly, filets don't have big chunks of fat. Third, if you burn a filet, maybe you deserve to have to eat it, mainly so you remember to not do that next time.

    5. Successful people park at the far end of the parking lot in all scenarios. First of all, you get exercise. Secondly, that's the farthest away from where all the idiots with shopping carts are, which is exactly where you want to park your nice vehicle. But, don't be a douche and take up two spots.

    8. If I ever have to ride in a helicopter, you can bet that I'll use the phrase "GET TO DA CHOPPA! in my best Arnold voice, just like a gauche simpleton.

    10. You have a wife and multiple children. And not only are you doing the dishes, you're telling everybody you're a REAL man because you wait for them to dry in full! Let's think about this.

    11. Manly men don't tweet. What's a pin?

    12. So now your soap management skills define you as a man? Or is it the fact that you checked the soap before and not during a shower? Real men walk to the sink naked unapologetically and grab another bar if necessary and think nothing of it. It's just not a big deal.

    13. For some reason, someone who cries all the time, seemingly admits to needing to be held, defines themselves by owning Oxfords, melon ballers, and shoehorns, yet religiously listens to the same gangsta rap group, seems mentally unstable.

    14. You're married. Some things are womans work. If you do the grocery shopping you should know what you're looking for by heart. Start with some more steaks because you just burnt them up in number 4.

    15. Only whiny little effiminate twits stamp across the floor in a public display of emotion like a first grader.

    16. See 25. That's going to work out swell. Maybe you can whack the guy with your melon baller.

    17, 18, 20, 26: See # 13.

    22. Have you ever heard of the internet by chance? Lots of news there, no public nudity necessary.

    25. Except for, you know, number 16.
  7. OldEarnhardtFan

    OldEarnhardtFan 10 pointer

    Jan 16, 2014
    Northeast of Berea

    Thanks eyes are feeling better but are still tear stained.
  8. EC

    EC 12 pointer

    Jul 13, 2003
    Louisville, KY.

    WTF is a Wu-Tang??

    I know many men will listen to Poon Tang...
  9. trust me

    trust me Troubled Loner

    Nov 27, 2004
    Jerkwater, KY
    A mouth breathing knuckle dragging troglodyte like myself doesn't much care about hipster living standards. Add Mr. Lombardi and the NY Times to the long list of things about which I'm freshly out of ####'# to give.
  10. TripleGee

    TripleGee 12 pointer

    Sep 13, 2003
    That Modern Man is a candy ass!
  11. JDMiller

    JDMiller 12 pointer

    Jun 12, 2005
    " Between the Rivers "
    Well..... I'll never get those few minutes back.

    Was'nt "WuTang " what the guy in the movie Full Metal Jacket said about if there was a word worth fighting / dying for?? Wait....the more I think about .. that wasn't it... lol.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  12. Coot_Meurer

    Coot_Meurer 10 pointer

    Nov 4, 2006
    Not here anymore

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