How do you deal with your MIL's

AteUp

12 pointer
Mar 14, 2004
15,706
Luavul
Considering her daughter is the first in their entire family to get a college degree and on top of that a masters, yes. Why would you be so proud of your kid then not want them to work their tail off getting somewhere with that degree and making a better life for themself

Bottom line is your mil is worried she's going to see her daughter and future grandchildren less. Don't matter nothing about education or whatnot. she's worried about losing her daughter from her everyday life. I cannot fault anyone for feeling that way.
 

philipfleek

12 pointer
Feb 24, 2008
10,310
philville, KY
Considering her daughter is the first in their entire family to get a college degree and on top of that a masters, yes. Why would you be so proud of your kid then not want them to work their tail off getting somewhere with that degree and making a better life for themself

I agree buddy-seems very selfish on the old ladies part. Do what you have to do and live how you want.
I hope both of you get those 2hour away jobs now!
 

killinmammals

12 pointer
Nov 6, 2005
9,219
In a VAN, DOWN BY THE RIVER!
Bottom line is your mil is worried she's going to see her daughter and future grandchildren less. Don't matter nothing about education or whatnot. she's worried about losing her daughter from her everyday life. I cannot fault anyone for feeling that way.
I can understand not wanting her kid to be farther away, but wouldn't you want what is best for your child and their future and family? My mom hates the fact that I moved away for a few years, and might be moving away again, but she is happy for me and wishes me the best of luck because she knows the move would be best for me and my family.
I hope both of you get those 2hour away jobs now!
Same here, because them I would be close to the lakes and those famous wing dings....
 

AteUp

12 pointer
Mar 14, 2004
15,706
Luavul
She just doesn't want to lose her daughter regardless of what you say is "best" for your family. What's best for my wife, kid and me is being here, around my family and friends. I can't put a price tag on that. Everybody's different though.;)
 

INguy

6 pointer
Jan 28, 2010
266
I've held my tongue as well as I can. I did let her have a piece of my mind the 2nd night we had our daughter home. My daughter spent 7 days in the NICU (she was 4 weeks early) she had problems spitting up, choking, and quitting breathing (trying to learn how to eat and breath at same time). Anyways, the 2nd night home I was feeding my daughter and she and an choking episode and my MIL told me it was due to the way I was holding her and that it wouldn't have happend if I would've held her a different way; which was the case. I lit into her pretty good for that one.

As for talking to my wife about it, I have a 100 times. She loves her family and is greatful for everything they do for us (and I am to but there's only so much a guy can take). They live 100 miles away and she feels guilty for living so far away. This is the first grandkid and my wife is the oldest girl in the family. She doesn't feel like saying something to her mother will fix anything. She claims to have let her mom know when there have been problems in the past, but it doesn't change her mothers behavior. She basically pacifies her.

Part of the problem too is that her parents decided to pay our 5k deductible for our christmas present. My deductible starts over Jan 1 and we had our daughter Dec 12. So, our HSA savings would have been drained and we would have had to start over if it weren't for this "gift". Not to sound ungratful at all but part of me thinks they are paying our deductible so they have a "say so" in what we do. Like they (her mom) would use it to hang over our heads. I've thought about declining their offer so they can't.

Long reply but there is a lot going on in this scenario.
 

dray223

10 pointer
Mar 11, 2010
1,050
Looks to me like you just better get use to it. Either that or put the put " the family pants" back on and do something about it.
 

TedB

10 pointer
Jan 16, 2005
1,207
Nicholasville
I've held my tongue as well as I can. I did let her have a piece of my mind the 2nd night we had our daughter home. My daughter spent 7 days in the NICU (she was 4 weeks early) she had problems spitting up, choking, and quitting breathing (trying to learn how to eat and breath at same time). Anyways, the 2nd night home I was feeding my daughter and she and an choking episode and my MIL told me it was due to the way I was holding her and that it wouldn't have happend if I would've held her a different way; which was the case. I lit into her pretty good for that one.

As for talking to my wife about it, I have a 100 times. She loves her family and is greatful for everything they do for us (and I am to but there's only so much a guy can take). They live 100 miles away and she feels guilty for living so far away. This is the first grandkid and my wife is the oldest girl in the family. She doesn't feel like saying something to her mother will fix anything. She claims to have let her mom know when there have been problems in the past, but it doesn't change her mothers behavior. She basically pacifies her.

Part of the problem too is that her parents decided to pay our 5k deductible for our christmas present. My deductible starts over Jan 1 and we had our daughter Dec 12. So, our HSA savings would have been drained and we would have had to start over if it weren't for this "gift". Not to sound ungratful at all but part of me thinks they are paying our deductible so they have a "say so" in what we do. Like they (her mom) would use it to hang over our heads. I've thought about declining their offer so they can't.

Long reply but there is a lot going on in this scenario.

Yep, sounds like you're in it my friend. Personally I'd rather eat dogfood and have to crap in the can before I took a quarter from mine... Just sayin
 

killinmammals

12 pointer
Nov 6, 2005
9,219
In a VAN, DOWN BY THE RIVER!
She just doesn't want to lose her daughter regardless of what you say is "best" for your family. What's best for my wife, kid and me is being here, around my family and friends. I can't put a price tag on that. Everybody's different though.;)

I can't blame you a bit, I'd love to stay near my mom, her parents, and friends, but we have to make sacrifices. I know they will still be there for me and my friends I have now will be friends for life. Its not easy finding good jobs in Owensboro unless you have a bunch of experience, and even then its not so easy.

She isn't happy either that we just found out today we are moving to Louisville...
 
Last edited:


Latest posts

Top