Funny Hunting Stories

FF/EMT516

10 pointer
Nov 22, 2020
1,169
Caneyville, Ky
What’s some of y’all’s funniest hunting stories? I’ll start. Back when I was in middle school maybe first year of high school I had to hunt with my papaw still. Anyways, we were sitting on the bank of a spring behind a makeshift blind. Papaw goes to sit down in his chair and it slowly starts going backwards, he reaches out for me and I can’t grab his hand because I’m already laughing. He falls back down this bank, probably 4-5 feet and is just laying there on his back reaching for me still but I still can’t help him from laughing so much. I guess he realizes this and just rolls on backwards over the briars and comes back around. Needless to say our hunt wasn’t successful because I laughed the rest of the evening. I’ll never forget that as long as I live. He’s too old to hunt anymore but we both bring it up from time to time and still have a good laugh over it.
 

FOWLER2671

12 pointer
Sep 11, 2009
3,851
Evicted from Aintry'
Friend of mine was just out of the Marines about 2012 or so... Just a we bit cocky.. Likes to duck hunt; REALLY likes to blow the call!

We were on a mallard spot and only kill one duck and he claims it..

We move to a diver spot which was RED HOT! Ringnecks, bluebills, redheads and they are All sporty! 20 yard shots! Gomer Pyle is claiming EVERY LAST ONE!

We have 17 ducks out of 18 limit. I quit shooting to shoot pics.. Other buddy quits to watch the show...

Gomer proceeds to miss the next 15+ ducks...Shane, the other buddy says: No damn wonder this War is taking so long? You can't hit anything!! Shanes asks Gomer what he did in the service,, Gomer bristles up and claims; I was a Machine Gunner! That's when I (Army) chime in that even the Marines realized that he needed LOTS OF BULLETS!!!

Gomer was wilting under the pressure... Had to go back for more ammo... Until some suicidal diver decided his migrant days were over and flew into a shot pattern...

Lots of fun and great memories from that day and year!
 

rcb216

12 pointer
Sep 25, 2005
5,942
Robertson Co.
I post this about every year just before modern gun. Good read.





I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in
a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured
that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear
of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the
bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not
be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it
down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with
my rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well
back. They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I
picked out.. ..a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and
threw.. My rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so
I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little
tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may
just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer
is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could
fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was
no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet
and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer
on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina
as many other animals.


A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as
quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me
a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out
of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed
venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around
its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was
no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing,
and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where
I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large
rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to
recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility
for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow
death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder -
a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could
get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million
years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a
horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes
its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably
to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method
was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes,
but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning
that claim by now), tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right
arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when
I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear
right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and
their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal
-- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily,
the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards
the animal.
This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you
can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such
trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different
strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and
run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will
hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after
all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second
I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does
not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger
has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you
while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went
away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring
a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.
 

PUBLIC RAT

10 pointer
Feb 18, 2014
1,631
I've printed this story before so here it is again. Worked with a guy years ago who knew everything when really he was a jackass and obnoxious. So some of the other coworkers were snickering about something happened to him and his son over weekend and I needed to hear it myself. So at lunchtime someone asked him how his weekend went. He told this story about him and his son went deer hunting. I think the boy was about 16/17. The hunt was terrible, saw nothing went back to his new big truck, I believe a tundra. Approaching truck they jump a buck and in teen boys adrenaline rush puts rifle across the top of truck bed. Now the scope on this gun has see thru rings and scope sets high on gun. He uses scope instead of see thru sights,and with buck running slightly downhill he shoots and blew a hole on other side of truck bed. I laughed for weeks every time I saw that guy I grinned and had to contain myself.
 

00noturkey

12 pointer
Oct 31, 2011
4,185
High Grove
I post this about every year just before modern gun. Good read.





I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in
a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured
that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear
of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the
bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not
be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it
down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with
my rope.

The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well
back. They were not having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I
picked out.. ..a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and
threw.. My rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so
I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could
tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards it...it took a step away. I put a little
tension on the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may
just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action
when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer
is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could
fight down with a rope and with some dignity.

A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was
no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet
and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer
on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina
as many other animals.


A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as
quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me
a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out
of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed
venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around
its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was
no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing,
and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual.

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where
I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large
rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to
recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility
for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow
death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder -
a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could
get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million
years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised
when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a
horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes
its head --almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably
to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method
was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes,
but it was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning
that claim by now), tricked it.

While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right
arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when
I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear
right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and
their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal
-- like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily,
the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards
the animal.
This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you
can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such
trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different
strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and
run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will
hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after
all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second
I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does
not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger
has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you
while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went
away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring
a rifle with a scope to sort of even the odds.
might be an old read, i still like it.. horses aint the nice pictures, they are painted to be. an they do hold a grudge. i will give em them much, they can an will, spot out fake people, an will fool those that let them.. people are easy targets.. :rolleyes:
 

FF/EMT516

10 pointer
Nov 22, 2020
1,169
Caneyville, Ky
might be an old read, i still like it.. horses aint the nice pictures, they are painted to be. an they do hold a grudge. i will give em them much, they can an will, spot out fake people, an will fool those that let them.. people are easy targets.. :rolleyes:
You’re right. Grew up with quarter horses. Dad, uncle and brother all barrel race but it’s not really my thing. I like cattle better.
 

00noturkey

12 pointer
Oct 31, 2011
4,185
High Grove
dont know what they think. dont want to piss one off though. they can be meaner then a horse. riled up. ya never know the grudge, your animal, holds again ya, till it happens, an it does.
gimme a break, just cause i understand ya some, dont mean the rest of the world does. hard to talk to those with 4 legs. even harder to talk with those with two. most i figure, they are dumber then horses. an horses dont understand the world. from a monkey type point of view.. an we are. reach into the jar to get your prize, yet u are trapped, by your hand. still holding the false prize., still getting trapped. i cant say it any better then this. //ed
 

00noturkey

12 pointer
Oct 31, 2011
4,185
High Grove
Well; i told this story once before; an will again. i were deer hunting, with my 50 single shot muzzle loader. after sitting above on the hill for a while, i went to the bottoms. was a while, but a buck came, with nose to the ground, snorting the way they do, while on a different hunt, the females. 1st. time while hunting deer. i lead the target.an missed, e run up in the woods., an was looking at me. i was trying to get my fast loader into the single shot while shaking. for a 2nd shot. the deers antlers grew while it were looking at me, an i hoped i could get the gun loaded, before it came at me. bullwinkle comes to mind., an 8 pointer turns into a monster deer. so i point the 50, but the deer runs. after an hour or so i follow the blood trail; just drops here an there on leaves. finally i find the deer, springs out of the brush, but runs uphill, i got a shot, but if i miss, it goes over the hill. aint worth the shot, in my mind.. butt hole shots. only Alex can do that..
 
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FF/EMT516

10 pointer
Nov 22, 2020
1,169
Caneyville, Ky
One time when I was about 15 I went to a youth hunt at Camp Loucon sponsored by the NWTF, one of the chaperones/guides was a fairly old man and he was wearing these camo coveralls. They said they got out to their hunting spot and it hit him, he had to take a 10-200 and there was a kid and his granddaughters husband trying to peel his coveralls off him and he filled them up. They said the ride back to camp was horrible. I’d have give anything to have seen that. Lol
 

wv123

Fawn
Dec 29, 2021
17
WV
Years ago, my father, brothers and I hunted with some friends from church. One of them was a kid about 5 years younger than me. My dad, brothers and I used .270s, .243, and a .25-06, all bolt-actions. The guys we hunted with used semi-auto .30-06s with hand loads of 165 grains, IIRC. Always felt this was overkill. This is in WV, and the biggest buck in our area would be a basket rack 10 point.

We would hunt on stand the first morning of rifle season, and the kid (Lance) shot a spike with his .30-06. My younger brother was with him, so they walked together to the spike to tag it and start gutting it. He shot it right on the fence line between the land we hunted and the neighbor's property. The neighbor is someone we all knew, but weren't really friends with, and we did not hunt together. Lance and my brother had just about reached the spike when they heard several shots ring out from the neighbor's land. A few seconds later, they heard something crashing through the brush and leaves and saw another spike jump the fence and start across the field. Lance, apparently on instinct, put his .30-06 to his shoulder and shot. The spike went down immediately. Lance has an issue. Legally, he could only kill one buck per day, even with his second tag. He and my brother (who is in high school at the time, Lance is in middle school) are asking each other what they should do when they hear more crashing brush and look over and see the neighbor approaching the fence line with his .30-30. He sees them and asks "Did you guys see a wounded buck run through here?" My brother started to speak, but Lance cut him off saying "Yeah, he's down over there!"

He gets over the fence, then he walks with my brother and Lance to the second spike. There is one bullet hole in it, and it's MASSIVE. The guy has no clue, and starts bragging about what a big hole his .30-30 makes. The other two just nod and agree "Yeah, those are nice." "I used to have one, they'll put down anything." , etc.

Problem solved. Lance now always unloads his rifle immediately after killing a deer. :)
 
Names may have been changed to protect the... Guilty.
Many years ago, in the early 80's I had taken a job with a local utility in Pikeville. The company had an old Rod & Gun Club and we had revived it and many of us were into black powder hunting and shooting. About 10 of us planned a trip to Cave Run to the Primative Weapons Area near Zilpo. We tent camped and had a big campfire the first night before opening day. After dinner one the the boys, Steve pulls out a quart of peach moonshine and took a sip and passed it around. When it came back to him, he took off the lid and went "Bwahhahaha" and tossed the lid into the fire. Well, all we could do was to finish the quart before bed time. About 10min later, I observe my younger brother John digging one of the three peaches out of the jar and we proceeds to eat it. I said, "Bro, that is a bad idea." He just laughs and proceeds to eat all of the peaches. I turned in soon after leaving my brother outside still tending the fire. He had his own tent so, I did not see him again til morning. I am an early riser and woke before daylight to find my brother laying facedown in the now cold ashes of the dead fire.

Being the concerned older sibling, I walked over and shined a light in his eyes and got no movement, still standing, I kicked him lightly in the ribs a few times and noted a small puff of ashes around his face with each kick. On about the 3rd kick, I did get a low moan from him as he rolled over onto his back. To say he was hung over is an understatement. He was using our Dad's hunting rifle and hunting coat and I took him to the woods in my truck and dropped him off before heading to my stand. About 30min after dawn, I heard a large "KaBoom!" and assumed that he had bagged a big buck. About noon, I went to my truck to eat lunch and was surprised to discover my brother asleep in the back of my truck. When I arrived, he asked if I had seen the big buck? and I said "No". I asked if he had shot one, and he said "No". Then I asked who shot at dawn? and he said, "That was me." Curious, I quizzed him about what he was shooting since he obviously had not bagged a deer. He said that when he got to his stand, he was feeling sick and too hot from walking and so, he wanted to sit or lay down. He took off Dad's prized hunting coat and laid it on the ground and then laid Dad's near new Thompson Center Hawkin rifle on top of the coat so it would not get scratched or dirty. Being on a steep slope, about 2 seconds after he let go, the rifle slid down hill just far enough to snag the hammer on the coat and then snap forward firing the weapon. The 45cal slug tore several holes in the fabric and the max load of FFG black powder burned a massive hole in the left side of the coat.

Following the accidental discharge, he slunk back to my truck, tail between his legs and went to sleep in the back. About 10 min before I showed up, he woke and sat up only to see a very large trophy buck standing broadside in the road about 30y away. His rifle was still unloaded, so he quietly and slowly loaded it while remaining sitting in the back. The deer, unconcerned, (probably having witnessed his marksmanship earlier in the morning), stood motionless. Brother now with rifle loaded, took aim off the top of the cab of my truck. What happened next was a stroke of good fortune, because if he had shot, he no doubt would have put a hole in my new truck. About the time, he was about to squeeze the trigger, a truck came up the gravel road and the deer ran into the woods. He stood and fired a snapshot at the running deer but missed it. I walked up about 10min later. He was so disgusted that he just begged me to take him home and so, we packed up and left after informing some of my co-workers of our plan. My brother is gone now but I sill have fond memories of that hunt and some of our other scrapes as kids.

Irish
 
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Kylongrifle32

6 pointer
Jan 13, 2019
222
Owen co.
Back in the later 80's my father and I hunted a couple of farms in Owen county along the Kentucky river. One day while eating lunch at the truck after a morning bow hunt we watched a crow land in the top of an oak tree about 130 yards away. I was really into crow and ground hog hunting back then. My father had never hunted crows so l started to give him a quick education on them. I told him that bird was a lookout for the birds eating in a cut corn field further down the road. I told him if you can sneak past that bird and kill one of the feeding birds the flock would drive that bird off. So he gets my shot gun out of the truck and tries sneaking down the fence line to get to the field. After a long 20 minute stalk the lookout gives off a warning and the gig is up. Just then I hear a shot and see the lookout crow twirling to the ground. Dad gets back to the truck and I giggle and say there smart birds. He say yeah but I got him. I say you were supposed to kill one in the field. We have another laugh then grab are bows to go back out for the evening hunt.
We meet back at the truck at dark and load up to head home. Dad starts the truck up and turns the lights one and there about 20 yards Infront of the truck sits a crow in the field. We look at each other about the same time. Dad ask what do you think is up with with that. I say some Ahole probably shoot him earlier today. He says no way he went down way down the road from here. I bet if you get out of the truck and walk towards it it can fly. Sure enough it just hops off. So now Dad feels guilty so we spend the next half hour chasing a wounded crow around thru the wood like a two man Chinese fire drill / snipe hint trying to throw a jacket over him. We finally get it caught and headed home. Keep it in the basement for about six months till it was well enough to start flying and release. Funny thing about it was if me or my mom went down in the basement to feed it or do laundry that bird would go nuts. If Dad went down there to do anything it would hope up on his shoulder like they were best buds and stay there it dad shoed it away. I would always tell him after that that i guess crows ain't as smart as I thought they we're.
 


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