Fostering/adoption

Discussion in 'Community Forum' started by carnivore, Jul 8, 2021.

  1. carnivore

    carnivore 12 pointer

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    Ky
    Told my wife we should rent out the upstairs to college girls when our kids move out. I was purely thinking financial benefits. You should have seen the look on her face after i said it.
     
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  2. grinder

    grinder 10 pointer

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    harrodsburg, ky, USA.
    LOL !!!
     
  3. bigbonner

    bigbonner 12 pointer

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    Aug 5, 2015
    My son's MIL does fostering. She only had girls to foster. Some of them are really good but there has been some that was
    on the bad side. There are some that are handicapped with special needs. Some kids will run off when they get the chance , some may start a fire and some have been abused badly . Some make false claims just so they can get moved to another foster parent. Those false claims could cause problems .
    There have been some kids you just want to keep .
     
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  4. web splitter

    web splitter 6 pointer

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    Feb 3, 2015
    One of my neighbors fosters. Seems that they have had 60 or more over the years she says, have adopted like 20 something of them. Currently they have 4 under the age of 12 that they have adopted and one that's only a couple years old which is still in the foster system but they are actively trying to adopt her. Two of their older biological children help to take care of the young ones. Neighbors are in their late 50s at this point. I've only known them about 5 years but seem like good people. No doubt they provide these kids with more healthy, loving and secure environment than they would be in otherwise. All 5 of the young ones they currently have were born to addicts which brings it's own issues, medical and otherwise.
     
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  5. grinder

    grinder 10 pointer

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  6. xbokilla

    xbokilla 12 pointer

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    I have taught and worked with a lot of foster kids but not super knowledgeable. I have mentioned on here before, our daughter is adopted. We adopted her from birth and I am amazed at the horror stories I hear sometimes because ours was an open adoption and one of the best and most blessed experiences imaginable. It was domestic. She’s 8 now. I don’t think I could foster. Couldn’t imagine giving a child up. The good foster parents I’ve dealt with are special people indeed. Not all have been good. As far as adoption, I think it’s sad that a child can be aborted for peanuts but adoption cost a fortune. Just sad.
     
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  7. bgkyarcher

    bgkyarcher 12 pointer

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    BG
    We tried to get pregnant for a couple of years with no success. Went to fertility specialist at Vandy. My wife had a procedure to clear some adhesions, then we tried insemination several times. Had a couple of miscarriages, very early. Would not have known had we not been doing what we were doing. Went through a lot of $$$. Decided to try one last time, and had an appointment with an adoption agency. She got pregnant. I truly believe she had given up, and relaxed..... After my daughter was born, we wanted at least one more. We tried on our own (I like trying a lot). She got pregnant, and things looked great. Then about 10 weeks in, she started spotting. Ultrasound revealed it was ectopic. We were devestated, obviously. She had to have a DNC, the whole 9 yards. That was rough. We kept trying, but it wasn't in God's plan for us to have another child.
     
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  8. web splitter

    web splitter 6 pointer

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    Feb 3, 2015
    We went through very similar experiences, very rough time. Wife was basically pregnant for the better part of 6yrs. After a lot of blood, sweat, tears and money we now have two healthy and beautiful girls, 4 & 1.
     
  9. grinder

    grinder 10 pointer

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    harrodsburg, ky, USA.
    There are still some good people in this world. Special
    Thats a special kind of people. God bless them, and they will be.
     
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  10. bgkyarcher

    bgkyarcher 12 pointer

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    BG
    I'm not gonna lie..... When we were trying... Walking through the mall, or somewhere similar, seeing people with 2-3 kids, obviously under nourished/cared for, it made me question.... Why would God give them 2-3 they couldn't take care of, and not give us one..... I had a lot of angry conversations with God during that time frame. Much like when we tried to adopt the girl from S. Africa. I've never questioned his plan, but I have often asked "why". Of course that is fruitless/pointles, but as a human, it is inevitable.
     
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  11. EdLongshanks

    EdLongshanks 12 pointer

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    Northern Kentucky
    Asking why is necessary. I have the feeling that we will never know the answer until we die.
     
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  12. HuntressOfLight

    HuntressOfLight 12 pointer

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    Guarding my lovely bluebirds
    No, it is not necessary.
     
  13. xbokilla

    xbokilla 12 pointer

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    This is a nice discussion with great folks sharing some very personal information. I have no doubts that there are some great parents on here and Lord have I dealt with some stinkers. For my wife and I, we simply have no idea why we never conceived. She did some fertility meds and I got the “little swimmers” test and all seemed ok. My wife did have endometriosis and had to have a a pretty serious surgery when she was like 26. We’ve felt this may have had something to do with it but then again doctors never said it wouldn’t affect the process and I certainly wasn’t going to let her blame herself. I’m not saying we were always “trying” but we were never careful either. Kind of if it happens, it happens. We were a husband/wife coaching team for years and really poured our heart and soul into our kids and program so it was like we had kids, in some ways. One day, out of nowhere, my wife says, “Let’s adopt a kid. I’m tired of wondering if it will ever happen and we aren’t getting any younger.” So off we went and we were blessed that it happened rather quickly and smoothly for us. Had to be Gods plan I guess. I have gotten to tell our story to parenting and child services classes and I’ve always felt that if it helped even one young girl make the right choice, then that could be why things happened. I get all the time, “You guys have given her such a wonderful life.” But that’s a bunch of bologna! That’s what she has done for us. She and I don’t look much alike but she’s daddy’s girl. She does look like momma. She’s beautiful and I dread the teen years because even at 8 years old all the little boys are already crazy over her. Pray for me. I’m gonna struggle!
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2021
  14. HuntressOfLight

    HuntressOfLight 12 pointer

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    Guarding my lovely bluebirds
    Wasn't anything personal upon my end, just business as usual. The industry is utterly riddled with nuts. That man threatened to run me through a wood chipper one time. I no longer recall much more about that incident, other than it taught the man I would get up into his face, and with a quickness that he could not have possibly foreseen. I can deal with them in only small dozes these days.

    What was simply amazing to me about the eleven year old, he was extraordinarily well mannered and highly intelligent. He simply lacked proper guidance, at that particular juncture withn his young life. I do not think it necessary to foster nor adopt, in order to have a positive impact upon a child's life
     
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  15. KYote-Krusher

    KYote-Krusher 12 pointer

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    Jan 12, 2006
    South Central Kentucky

    That's incredible ... those people should be put up for Sainthood.
     
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