Dear Lord please give me the strength to stay calm

[bgkyarcher]

Dang. I understand your frustration. I get along great with my inlaws, but I 100% know my MIL would not rat out the kids. She would have taken the blame for them.

 

[Tankt]

After 3 days (of dealing with her nonsense) i hung a noose above her bed (in my house) with a note on it that said “please just get it over with!” She moved out the next day and my relationship ended soon after. I wouldn’t suggest my strategy.

Damn! Brutal! Love it lol

 

[carnivore]

Damn! Brutal! Love it lol

Ive come a long way from where i started.

My current MIL loves me.

 

[baknblack]

“Let it go. Its only stuff and people are more important than things.” (The problem with this advice is you are going to bottle it up and explode) Ask me how i know.

Men are large, strong, and rough around the edges BUT the truth is women and kids are ROUGH on everything. Door knobs, couches, carpets, doors, windows, tvs, appliances, shower doors, plumbing, vehicles… etc etc etc. the reason they are rough on stuff is they don’t truly understand what goes into fixing or paying for broken things. And they dont see the BS you have to put up with at work to bring home a dollar.

You can walk around being angry and miserable about it. Or you can make some changes. Part of the reason they dont tell you is they are afraid to piss you off. Even if you dont say anything, they feel it. Like a furnace set to 80 degrees, you may be in the other room but by god they feel it. You need to change the culture in your household and in your own head. (Its not easy) You agree (to them and yourself) to control your anger and they agree to be involved in the fix and the rest of the family pays half (or all) either in direct or indirect labor. When this stuff happens look at it as an opportunity for your kids to grow, not as loosing weeks paycheck. (Way way easier said than done)

i had the exact same problem (cost me my previous fiancee and almost my current wife) so im not talking down to you, im right there with you. Its a natural reaction to being unappreciated. Not only are you the one loosing time and money you are also looked at as the asshole for “being mean.” That might even be the most infuriating part.

You are right, they are wrong. but do you want to be right, or do you want you and your family to be happy?
When the sink clogs up they help me fix it. = (No more grease down the drains). Broken door? I take them to the store to get a new one, look at the price and tell them i dont have enough money yet. We leave empty handed, put up a jar and we put money in it till there’s enough. That delay (not having a door) even if its a few weeks, teaches them. Same thing with the tv. Put up a jar, KEEP IT POSITIVE!!! Everyone will chip in and in a few months get a new smaller tv (maybe a Craigslist used one). Slowly over time they will learn consequences and responsibility. You have to celebrate the progress and small victories to keep motivated and positive.

It will take awhile for you to get this right, but channel that anger into motivation to using these events to help your kids grow. Look at like a game. If you get pissed you lose, if you can get them to grow you win. And when you win you wont really care about a broken tv.

I'm not going to comment much on the mother in law. My EX moved her mom in years back after she lost her draw money and ODed on pills (because getting a job didnt seem like an option). After 3 days (of dealing with her nonsense) i hung a noose above her bed (in my house) with a note on it that said “please just get it over with!” She moved out the next day and my relationship ended soon after. I wouldn’t suggest my strategy.

With all that said if none of that proves helpful, i pray you get a burst of energy to find the strength to keep on keeping on and hope just getting it out /venting was good enough.

So much truth and heartbreak in that story. My ex-wife always threatened to kill herself for years when she didn't get her way. After enough of it I started telling her to go ahead and put us both out of our misery. She never did kill herself like I figured it was all a baby fit but, I'd of felt like shit if she had.

 

[carnivore]

So much truth and heartbreak in that story. My ex-wife always threatened to kill herself for years when she didn't get her way. After enough of it I started telling her to go ahead and put us both out of our misery. She never did kill herself like I figured it was all a baby fit but, I'd of felt like shit if she had.

My ex got bad on pain pills and at some point she was just dead to me. I swear, i loved her but when i finally had enough, i gave her the boot (got custody of our kid) and dropped her on her ass with nothing or nobody and she hit bottom hard. I accepted she was already gone, and i like to think it saved her. Had she died i honestly had made my peace with that likely possibly. A lot of similarities between addicts and suicidal people.

 

[Tankt]

Ive come a long way from where i started.

My current MIL loves me.

I got along with my MIL fine but I smacked a beer out of FIL hand and threatened to throw him through his car window once. Never had another problem out of him.

 

[Redlined]

I was married 18 years, the last 6 the MIL lived with us. To say everything went to hell would be an understatement. That was ten years ago, MIL is still there. Hate it for ya man, esp the fact she is undermining good parenting by teaching the kiddos that kind of nonsense.

 

[HuntressOfLight]

Once agin in my house where there is one extra person living for a bit longer something occurred and someone or a group of individuals decided it was best to keep something to them selves and allow me to discover it upon my own instead of just telling me that it happened when they saw me. Usually its something small like they clogged up the vacuum hose and I get a bit pissed when I turn it on to clean up and the damn thing is clogged the length of the hose. Sometimes its something else that only I can rectify and it is kept quiet until I find it on my own. This time it is more difficult to cover up and way more difficult to correct. I found it odd last evening that both boys and my mother inlaw went to the boys room and went to sleep before my wife even got home from work. This evening I came in late said high to the boys and the MIL. I decide I will flip on the TV and watch something and socialize while we wait for my wife to get home. I instantly yell what the F%^*!!! Then my free-kin MIL has the asinine audacity to say well its been like that for days. I snapped and said you know good and damn well you haven't been watching TV like that and not noticed that crap.

There is a shatter in the left side of the screen. The left 6 inches and the bottom 14 inches are clearly ruined you can see the strike point. I got to the cause of the damage fast but MIL was and is clearly helping cover it up and no one can recall when this happened. There is no way in hell I would have snapped at her like that even a few years ago.

I explained to the 3 of them I am sick of stuff getting broken and no one bothers to tell me. I explain how much worse it is to let me find the problem on my own than to let me know when it happens or when I get home. Most of this is aimed toward the MIL because the kids are not running the vacuum or the dish washer or the laundry. There is one person that usually screws stuff up and allows me to discover the damage on my own.
The 5 year old was quick to begin to take responsibility as the MIL continues to deny knowing. Ultimately the kids were at each other and the 11 year old took some present and threw it in the trash and the 5 year old threw a wooden Santa puppet at him and hit the TV. I feel like this happened yesterday after school and the MIL who spends 16 to 20 hrs a day on our new couch watching our new TV never noticed the fact the screen was shattered.
I spent a month or more researching and comparing flat screens this spring. We had never had a large TV and I had decided it was time to get something the whole family could enjoy. I had been working my ass off and saved overtime and purchased what to us was a nice TV it was a QLED 65 inch. Now its ruined and I have to learn how good the 4 year warranty I purchased really is.

Apologies for the run-on post and nonsence dribble but this has allowed me to calm down to the point of whats it really matter. Im proud of my 5 year old for offering up the cause so quickly and so disappointed in my Mother Inlaw.



View attachment 95426

8 Bible Verses about
Mother In Laws
Most Relevant Verses

Source: https://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Mother-In-Laws
​

 

[HuntressOfLight]

Once agin in my house where there is one extra person living for a bit longer something occurred and someone or a group of individuals decided it was best to keep something to them selves and allow me to discover it upon my own instead of just telling me that it happened when they saw me. Usually its something small like they clogged up the vacuum hose and I get a bit pissed when I turn it on to clean up and the damn thing is clogged the length of the hose. Sometimes its something else that only I can rectify and it is kept quiet until I find it on my own. This time it is more difficult to cover up and way more difficult to correct. I found it odd last evening that both boys and my mother inlaw went to the boys room and went to sleep before my wife even got home from work. This evening I came in late said high to the boys and the MIL. I decide I will flip on the TV and watch something and socialize while we wait for my wife to get home. I instantly yell what the F%^*!!! Then my free-kin MIL has the asinine audacity to say well its been like that for days. I snapped and said you know good and damn well you haven't been watching TV like that and not noticed that crap.

There is a shatter in the left side of the screen. The left 6 inches and the bottom 14 inches are clearly ruined you can see the strike point. I got to the cause of the damage fast but MIL was and is clearly helping cover it up and no one can recall when this happened. There is no way in hell I would have snapped at her like that even a few years ago.

I explained to the 3 of them I am sick of stuff getting broken and no one bothers to tell me. I explain how much worse it is to let me find the problem on my own than to let me know when it happens or when I get home. Most of this is aimed toward the MIL because the kids are not running the vacuum or the dish washer or the laundry. There is one person that usually screws stuff up and allows me to discover the damage on my own.
The 5 year old was quick to begin to take responsibility as the MIL continues to deny knowing. Ultimately the kids were at each other and the 11 year old took some present and threw it in the trash and the 5 year old threw a wooden Santa puppet at him and hit the TV. I feel like this happened yesterday after school and the MIL who spends 16 to 20 hrs a day on our new couch watching our new TV never noticed the fact the screen was shattered.
I spent a month or more researching and comparing flat screens this spring. We had never had a large TV and I had decided it was time to get something the whole family could enjoy. I had been working my ass off and saved overtime and purchased what to us was a nice TV it was a QLED 65 inch. Now its ruined and I have to learn how good the 4 year warranty I purchased really is.

Apologies for the run-on post and nonsence dribble but this has allowed me to calm down to the point of whats it really matter. Im proud of my 5 year old for offering up the cause so quickly and so disappointed in my Mother Inlaw.



View attachment 95426

20 Important Bible Verses About Anger

"Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools."​

https://www.countryliving.com/life/inspirational-stories/g32705045/bible-verses-about-anger/

 

[carnivore]

20 Important Bible Verses About Anger

"Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools."​

https://www.countryliving.com/life/inspirational-stories/g32705045/bible-verses-about-anger/

Zip it!
Timothy 2:8-15

11 A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve.14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.15 But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

 

[HuntressOfLight]

Zip it!

You are not my hubby. If you wish to tell your wife to zip it, go for it.

 

[HuntressOfLight]

Once agin in my house where there is one extra person living for a bit longer something occurred and someone or a group of individuals decided it was best to keep something to them selves and allow me to discover it upon my own instead of just telling me that it happened when they saw me. Usually its something small like they clogged up the vacuum hose and I get a bit pissed when I turn it on to clean up and the damn thing is clogged the length of the hose. Sometimes its something else that only I can rectify and it is kept quiet until I find it on my own. This time it is more difficult to cover up and way more difficult to correct. I found it odd last evening that both boys and my mother inlaw went to the boys room and went to sleep before my wife even got home from work. This evening I came in late said high to the boys and the MIL. I decide I will flip on the TV and watch something and socialize while we wait for my wife to get home. I instantly yell what the F%^*!!! Then my free-kin MIL has the asinine audacity to say well its been like that for days. I snapped and said you know good and damn well you haven't been watching TV like that and not noticed that crap.

There is a shatter in the left side of the screen. The left 6 inches and the bottom 14 inches are clearly ruined you can see the strike point. I got to the cause of the damage fast but MIL was and is clearly helping cover it up and no one can recall when this happened. There is no way in hell I would have snapped at her like that even a few years ago.

I explained to the 3 of them I am sick of stuff getting broken and no one bothers to tell me. I explain how much worse it is to let me find the problem on my own than to let me know when it happens or when I get home. Most of this is aimed toward the MIL because the kids are not running the vacuum or the dish washer or the laundry. There is one person that usually screws stuff up and allows me to discover the damage on my own.
The 5 year old was quick to begin to take responsibility as the MIL continues to deny knowing. Ultimately the kids were at each other and the 11 year old took some present and threw it in the trash and the 5 year old threw a wooden Santa puppet at him and hit the TV. I feel like this happened yesterday after school and the MIL who spends 16 to 20 hrs a day on our new couch watching our new TV never noticed the fact the screen was shattered.
I spent a month or more researching and comparing flat screens this spring. We had never had a large TV and I had decided it was time to get something the whole family could enjoy. I had been working my ass off and saved overtime and purchased what to us was a nice TV it was a QLED 65 inch. Now its ruined and I have to learn how good the 4 year warranty I purchased really is.

Apologies for the run-on post and nonsence dribble but this has allowed me to calm down to the point of whats it really matter. Im proud of my 5 year old for offering up the cause so quickly and so disappointed in my Mother Inlaw.



View attachment 95426

100 Bible Verses about Material Things​

https://www.openbible.info/topics/material_things

 

[Lady Hunter]

That Probably isn't feasible, even though you may want her gone. Wifey has her mom there for better or worse, and its most always worse. But you Marry the whole Damfamily when you say "I Did" and fools and folly come in Every family.
Kids break stuff and its just a TV....easily replaced at Wal-Mart with another one.
Shit Happens.

The kid breaking the TV isn't the real problem. As you said, shit happens. There have to be some consequences to that (or it will continue to happen) but you've gotta take into consideration that it wasn't intentional & that the kid did 'fess up.

However, are you supposed to let an adult who is a bad influence on your kids continue to influence them? Nope. Not happening. Either have a "come to Jesus" meeting & lay down the law with them or keep them away from your kids!

We actually had alerts on our kids at school so my husband's parents couldn't be in contact with them & they weren't allowed around them AT ALL until the kids were old enough to understand that they'd better pay attention to us (their parents) and not their grandparents & were old enough to defend themselves. One of my husband's siblings went so far as having a restraining order taken out against them when they tried to kidnap her son because "she wasn't fit to be a godly mother." Our case was even worse. MIL tossed our 2 year old into a swimming pool & if we hadn't walked outside when we did, our child would have drowned. MIL said it was "God's will" whether she lived or died & that she'd be better off dead than with us as parents....

Not saying my mother was much better but at least she lived 3 hours away. She got our daughter to lie to us ONCE & we lit our daughter's a$$ up right in front of her & told her (and our daughter) that the spanking was all Grandma's fault for convincing her to lie to cover up something they'd BOTH been told wasn't allowed. She NEVER pulled that crap again!

 

[HuntressOfLight]

Once agin in my house where there is one extra person living for a bit longer something occurred and someone or a group of individuals decided it was best to keep something to them selves and allow me to discover it upon my own instead of just telling me that it happened when they saw me. Usually its something small like they clogged up the vacuum hose and I get a bit pissed when I turn it on to clean up and the damn thing is clogged the length of the hose. Sometimes its something else that only I can rectify and it is kept quiet until I find it on my own. This time it is more difficult to cover up and way more difficult to correct. I found it odd last evening that both boys and my mother inlaw went to the boys room and went to sleep before my wife even got home from work. This evening I came in late said high to the boys and the MIL. I decide I will flip on the TV and watch something and socialize while we wait for my wife to get home. I instantly yell what the F%^*!!! Then my free-kin MIL has the asinine audacity to say well its been like that for days. I snapped and said you know good and damn well you haven't been watching TV like that and not noticed that crap.

There is a shatter in the left side of the screen. The left 6 inches and the bottom 14 inches are clearly ruined you can see the strike point. I got to the cause of the damage fast but MIL was and is clearly helping cover it up and no one can recall when this happened. There is no way in hell I would have snapped at her like that even a few years ago.

I explained to the 3 of them I am sick of stuff getting broken and no one bothers to tell me. I explain how much worse it is to let me find the problem on my own than to let me know when it happens or when I get home. Most of this is aimed toward the MIL because the kids are not running the vacuum or the dish washer or the laundry. There is one person that usually screws stuff up and allows me to discover the damage on my own.
The 5 year old was quick to begin to take responsibility as the MIL continues to deny knowing. Ultimately the kids were at each other and the 11 year old took some present and threw it in the trash and the 5 year old threw a wooden Santa puppet at him and hit the TV. I feel like this happened yesterday after school and the MIL who spends 16 to 20 hrs a day on our new couch watching our new TV never noticed the fact the screen was shattered.
I spent a month or more researching and comparing flat screens this spring. We had never had a large TV and I had decided it was time to get something the whole family could enjoy. I had been working my ass off and saved overtime and purchased what to us was a nice TV it was a QLED 65 inch. Now its ruined and I have to learn how good the 4 year warranty I purchased really is.

Apologies for the run-on post and nonsence dribble but this has allowed me to calm down to the point of whats it really matter. Im proud of my 5 year old for offering up the cause so quickly and so disappointed in my Mother Inlaw.



View attachment 95426

20 Calming Bible Verses About Patience To Help You Get Through the Day

Take a deep breath and read these quotes to better persevere during hard times.​

https://www.countryliving.com/life/g31967106/bible-verses-about-patience/

 

[KYote-Krusher]

The kid breaking the TV isn't the real problem. As you said, shit happens. There have to be some consequences to that (or it will continue to happen) but you've gotta take into consideration that it wasn't intentional & that the kid did 'fess up.

However, are you supposed to let an adult who is a bad influence on your kids continue to influence them? Nope. Not happening. Either have a "come to Jesus" meeting & lay down the law with them or keep them away from your kids!

We actually had alerts on our kids at school so my husband's parents couldn't be in contact with them & they weren't allowed around them AT ALL until the kids were old enough to understand that they'd better pay attention to us (their parents) and not their grandparents & were old enough to defend themselves. One of my husband's siblings went so far as having a restraining order taken out against them when they tried to kidnap her son because "she wasn't fit to be a godly mother." Our case was even worse. MIL tossed our 2 year old into a swimming pool & if we hadn't walked outside when we did, our child would have drowned. MIL said it was "God's will" whether she lived or died & that she'd be better off dead than with us as parents....

Not saying my mother was much better but at least she lived 3 hours away. She got our daughter to lie to us ONCE & we lit our daughter's a$$ up right in front of her & told her (and our daughter) that the spanking was all Grandma's fault for convincing her to lie to cover up something they'd BOTH been told wasn't allowed. She NEVER pulled that crap again!

GULP!!

Threw your kid in the POOL??!! You showed remarkable restraint in not throwing HER in the pool ... with an anvil tied to her neck!

I thought I had some bad in-laws but after reading about yours and some of the others ... I guess I was pretty lucky!

I'm submitting you for "Sainthood".