Opening morning Potty time???

[150PandY]

How many of you get a nervous stomach opening morning and have to go behind a big oak tree before heading to the stand. It happens to me every year sometimes two or three times a year.
I have it down to a science now. I try to remember to pack TP or some baby wipes but incase I forget I make sure I wear some old underwear just incase I need to cut them off....!

[buckingaround]

happened to me last year,went to my cousins stand and had to stop before going up the hill,had to use my face mask and started up the hill got half way up realized i left my dang gun leaning on the tree at the bottom of the hill.(STILL DARK),than god for stainless barrels...:eek::eek:.i was hoping cuz would come down with my face mask..i would have laughed my but off...........:cool:

[Xi Bowhunter]

Happens to me quite often, either I am way back in the woods or out in the middle of a big lake catching fish.....happens EVERY time!:mad:

[Big Smitty]

last year i was hunting close to the cabin and nature called in an urgent way. I made it back to the cabin to utilize the indoor plumbing. When I got to the cabin I left my .30-06 on the porch and yanked off my coveralls and headed inside to take care of business. While I was in the bathroom my hung over hunting buddy got up out of bed (it was about 8:30) and looked out the window and saw a nice 8 pointer crossing the field about 100 yards away. He walked out on the porch in his underwear a t shirt and his house slippers and grabbed my rifle and shot the buck. Funny thing is that I did not believe him when he told what had happened. I did not hear the shot from my location, probably due to the bath fan noise.

[Zack Attack]

I can't eat anything before I go hunting or I am in trouble. I have to wait until the time that I would normally eat and then have a cerial bar in the stand. I eat another about ten. I have some funny poop stories do to eating to early.
First: I was antelope hunting in the plains of eastern colarado. I had about a mile to walk to my blind about half way there my stomach starts to boil. I look around for the nearest tree to lean on and I realize that I am in trouble. I am in praire country and there are no trees. What is a boy from the east going to do? I take off at a dead run (in the dark) for the blind. I am not sure what I am going to do when I get there but I decided I needed to get there quick. At this point I am starting to sweat bad. Whe I get to my blind a see a lone fence post at the water hole. I proped up and almost broke the post while I was having a case of the raging Hershey squirts. It was bad....
Second: I was in Nebraska Whitetail hunting. Corn and more corn. Have you ever tried to prop up on a corn stalk. Doesn't work. Take one step in the small patch of woods and blow every deer out of there. I ended up finding a drainage ditch that had a flood control valve to hold on to.
I guess I need to learn how to pop a squat, but I am not balanced enough and afraid I will mess my paints.
P.S. I by those dollar gloves at Wal-mart. If it happens I use my glove. Only happens a few times a year if I don't eat to early.

[trust me]

Good grief...reading these stories makes me feel so much better about myself! Thank you all!:D

[droopy]

poor kentuck can walk by a tree in the yard and have to stop.:D

[raven_over_easy]

Happens to me quite often, either I am way back in the woods or out in the middle of a big lake catching fish.....happens EVERY time!:mad:

WAS going to invite ya to go fishing with me Xi but now I'm having second thoughts...lol.:eek:

[str8 shot]

dad said one time he actually cut his underwear off and used for toilet paper...theres tp in his backpack now

[Xi Bowhunter]

WAS going to invite ya to go fishing with me Xi but now I'm having second thoughts...lol.:eek:

Don't worry, I am learning how to prepare...LOL! No more breakfast burritos before heading out on the water for me!:D

[KYBOY]

Yep and ALWAYS happens when Im rabbit huntin', then you gotta find a big flat rock:mad:

[barney]

dad said one time he actually cut his underwear off and used for toilet paper...theres tp in his backpack now
I almost got divorced over comin home from huntin and fishin trips without underwear.:eek:

[Trons]

I normally lock up tighter then a drum when I'm hunting or camping, but this year has been different. The first morning of early Muzzleloader I'm heading to my stand and I feel the tingle...I figure I can hold it for a few hours then come out of the stand and back to camp to do my business so I keep walking (about 1/4 mile to the stand from where it starts). As I started up the hillside to the stand I know I'm not going to make it another 20ft, let alone 3-4hrs. I find a nice log and luckily I was a boyscout so I was prepared and had TP with me...didn't see anything that morning and I'm wondering if my "pile" left 30ft from stand had anything to do with it.

I try to go before I head to the stand now...figure it's easier that way :)

[150PandY]

I almost got divorced over comin home from huntin and fishin trips without underwear.:eek:

I have come home with out the BVDs many times. That is the back up plan!

[quackrstackr]

Just when you think you have seen every conceivable thread topic imaginable on this site.... you guys trump yourselves.

I had a former hunting buddy meet me at the truck after a hunt wearing nothing but his (previously outer layer) of camo bibs. Seems he had a pain hit him while in the stand and didn't make it to the bottom of the ladder in time. Between what he soiled and what he had to use for striking paper, he was down to his bibs. I'm glad that he had those bibs over his regular clothes and not just camo pants and a shirt.... especially since I was driving. :eek:

This guy had a horrible diet and couldn't go two hours without a bm. He would literally come flying into camp with dust flying and never shut off his truck, jump out with a roll of tp in hand and run to the woods. By the time deer season was over, it looked like snow in a large area away from the camper where he liked to do his business.

He also killed the biggest deer ever taken on the place after climbing down from his stand to do his business and then having the buck run a doe right up to him as soon as he buttoned his pants.

[ebfarmer]

Starting about the first of August, I start to train myself to go before going to bed.;) This works out pretty well, but I do seem to get caught occasionally anyway. Thirty feet up a tree, in a climbing stand, is no place to start a run to the potty.:(

[letmfly]

Alex,

Things I don't need to know for $100 please.

[ecmbowhunter]

I forgot, since opening morning was 3 months ago.;) :D:p

[gasman1]

Never thought I would get to tell this story on this forum but you guys have left the door open so here goes. Rabbit hunting with a buddy of mine several years back and he asks for the TP since I am the one that always has some. Gave him a pretty good roll and didn't thing anything about it until I had to go and ask for it back. Well after a moment of silence he says it's all gone. I'm like "what"?! He starts laughing and says when he bent down to do his business he took his wallet out of his back pocket so it wouldn't fall out and set it in his underwear, but when he finished he forgot it was there and when he pulled up his drawers his wallet fell right into the pile of poop! So he had to use the rest of the TP to clean his wallet so he could put it back in his pocket. Needless to say I didn't ask him for gas money that trip.:D:D:D

[150PandY]

I forgot, since opening morning was 3 months ago.;) :D:p

Well I meant all opening morings. Like turkey, bow, rabbit, duck, the first fishing trip of the spring... they all get me.!

[lab]

With all the posts about actually hunting deer, it has come down to this.

150, have you ever considered seeing a physician? You have some issues.:eek:

[trust me]

Of all the blessings the Lord has given me, I never realized till now that regular and controllable BM's was one of them.

Thank You Lord, Amen.

[150PandY]

With all the posts about actually hunting deer, it has come down to this.

150, have you ever considered seeing a physician? You have some issues.:eek:

Haha! I ended my season too early and I am having buck tag withdraw symptoms. I will be ok next september when I have that buck tag in my pocket.....! Until then I will have to come up with usless questions to keep other people out of the woods and on the internet so maybe they wont kill all the deer!

[shaman]

I am about 5 years into middle age. That's not by my figuring. That's my body. About five years ago my eyesight went, and whole lot of other things started to change. As a result, I consider any hunting trip a success if it starts out with a quick trip to the bathroom just before leaving for my stand. Don't worry guys, if it hasn't hit you yet, it probably will. Give it a few years.

[slow-bow]

Starting about the first of August, I start to train myself to go before going to bed.;) This works out pretty well, but I do seem to get caught occasionally anyway. Thirty feet up a tree, in a climbing stand, is no place to start a run to the potty.:(
Amen, brother! I know I've had to drop a "scud", on more than one occasion, from 25ft. up. It makes quite the "SPLAT" from that distance. Still saw deer, afterwards, a couple of times.

[atoyota4x4]

Guys, this is one of the best posts yet. I know my co-workers around me are thinking, what is he laughing at. I better get back to work, or at least looking like it. I don't want to have to explain it to them.

[barney]

Amen, brother! I know I've had to drop a "scud", on more than one occasion, from 25ft. up. It makes quite the "SPLAT" from that distance. Still saw deer, afterwards, a couple of times.I have heard of this "bomb droppin" but I never figured anyone would ever own up to it!!:eek:

[corndogggy]

First deer I ever shot when I was about 8 years old it was opening morning about 7 AM, I got out of the stand, walked 20 feet, took a dump, crawled back up in the stand, and shot an 8 pointer 10 minutes later. Been happening every year since then, right about the same time.

[120+]

Starting about the first of August, I start to train myself to go before going to bed.;) This works out pretty well, but I do seem to get caught occasionally anyway. Thirty feet up a tree, in a climbing stand, is no place to start a run to the potty.:(

And I thought I was a dedicated hunter. Man I pale in comparison to someone who starts training their colon before the season starts. :(

[slow-bow]

I have heard of this "bomb droppin" but I never figured anyone would ever own up to it!!:eek:
"Denial" ain't just a river!

[huntindawoods]

My wife always said why do you get up an hour before you need to even leave to go to the woods. This is why, I get up that extra hour so I can get up move around and get everything movin on the inside so I won't have to make that sudden stop. I have to say though, even if I do use the bathroom before I leave the house I always take TP with me b/c like you say that opening morning of whatever season the nervous belly syndrome is always hitting me hard and I sometimes have to use it again before I get to the stand or blind or wherever I'm going

[shaman]

. . . and the last thing you want to do is wait too long and then realize that you are going to have to lose 5 layers in less than a minute or else fail in an exercise you have been spotless on since you were age 2.

Once. Once gentlemen. That's all it takes. 5 years of caving, sucking influx water without a hitch. 20 years of backpacking with a spotless record. Forty years of sportfishing without so much as an unplanned trip to the shore.

Once. Once on a frosty November morn in Bracken County with a bow in my hand and the dead certainty that a buck would bless me before ten if I could just hold out. First, it occurred to me that I might not make ten. Next, the realization that it might be a good idea to try for the outhouse at the campground rather than shoot for the farm house, then the epiphany that it was time to leave. . . NOW. Then the stark realization at the bottom of the ladder that I was not going to make it all the way up the hill.



This is Earth calling the HillChick.

This is the HillChick. Go ahead Earth.

I need a pickup at the top of Heartbreak Ridge. Special instructions to follow.

10-4 on the pickup. Heading out to Heartbreak Ridge now.

Negative HillChick. Special Instructions to follow. Are you standing by to receive?

Standing by Earth Control. What are your special instructions?

Bring a garbage bag. Scratch that. Bring two large garbage bags. Also bring a bath towel, and line the passenger side of the truck with newspaper.

This is HillChick. I copy you Earth Control. Garbage bags, bath towel and newspaper on the passenger side. What is your condition?

This is Earth. I am stable and uninjured. It's . . . It's just a mess.

This is HillChick. Do you have a deer?

Negative HillChick. Earth does not have a deer. Earth Control has . . . Earth is standing by for pickup.

(Pause)

This is HillChick. Proceeding to Heartbreak. Do you want your sons to help?

Negative. Earth is beyond help. Earth Control standing by for pickup. Earth out.