PDA

View Full Version : Red Neck Valentine Poem


kevhunter
02-19-2007, 08:49 PM
RED-NECK VALENTINE'S LOVE POEM

Collards is green

my dog's name is Blue

and I'm so lucky to have

a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk

a-flapping in the breeze

Softer than Blue's

and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,

which excite me in May.

You ain't got no scales

but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry

jist a-fry'n in the pan.

Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"

right out of the can.

You have som'a yore teeth,

for which I am proud;

I hold my head high

when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions,

when you shave under yore arms,

well, I'm in hawg heaven,

and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,

they all want to know,

what I did to deserve

such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape

yo're there fer yore man,

to patch up life's troubles

and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug

a-buzzin' overhead.

You ain't mean like those far ants

I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth

like a plaid flannel shirt,

you spark up my life

more than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight

like a padded gunrack,

my life is complete;

Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,

like the best vinyl sidin'.

despite all the years,

yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie

with a RC cold drank,

we go together

like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate

for Valentine's Day;

They git it at Wal-Mart,

it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses

on that special day

from the coo ler at Kroger.

"That's impressive," I say.

Some men bu y fine diamonds

from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever,"

they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these won't do.

Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,

more useful than diamonds...

IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!

aceoky
02-19-2007, 10:06 PM
Wy dats plum purdy....... :D :D

kyhunter110
02-19-2007, 10:11 PM
thats funny right there hahaha:D

Xi Bowhunter
02-19-2007, 10:40 PM
I'm gettin all teary eyed:D

th5isback5
02-19-2007, 10:52 PM
no w tat thurr iz pratty fuiny:D

ClayDog
02-20-2007, 08:05 AM
well Hot dog on a stick. I aint never hurd sumtin so prettiful in my life

MsgMills
02-20-2007, 08:53 AM
Why I believe I'll just have to copy that down and put in the next card to my wife... I know she'll just love it.....:D

mossyhorns
02-20-2007, 10:36 AM
. . . and it didn't mention NASCAR. Got me so all-farred tor-up, I reckon I'll got outside and shoot som'in.

bcdh1
02-20-2007, 10:42 AM
I think my old lady would slap me if i read that to her and then laugh at me and say, "That was funny too, wasn't it." LOL

BigDaddy
02-20-2007, 12:46 PM
Well I sent it to the wife and I don't think she was very amused :(

I may need a place to sleep if my old lab Chance doesn't make room for me in his house....

NonTyp
02-21-2007, 09:39 PM
Kev, you're killin me!! :D

kevhunter
02-21-2007, 09:46 PM
Kev, you're killin me!! :D

Trisha loved it,she says Im so romantical:D

MsgMills
02-21-2007, 10:05 PM
Hah, my Kentucky wife would just say, yeah right...But she thinks she ain't no redneck gal....Sorry to say it but she is 100% pure Redneck.....:D

BigD
02-21-2007, 10:39 PM
Dat sho was funny! I bet that originated in Aintry.:D